Traumatized....

I know, by the title it all sounds pretty dramatic.  Well, not really.  I'm just figuring it all out.

The year was 1984...World's Fair, New Orleans, LA.  I was 9ish.  The whole, happy family boards the Gondola (Is that what it's called?..You know, overhead transportation device).

My dad was always afraid of heights and always a prankster.  Bad combination.  The entire ride was spent with my dad on the floor of the ride "pretending" to be so scared of the ride.  It scared me...a lot.  As a 9-yr-old, I felt there was something to fear in that high ride.  It was the first time I felt not in control, and I hated it.

Now, today...I always like to be very in control.  I hate heights. Avoid it at all costs.  But, other than that, it has also caused me to "test the waters" before I jump in with both feet.  I won't ski in Colorado, I won't go on any type of ride more daring than the Tilt-a-Whirl, I won't ride on a jet ski, or try to water ski.  I get scared when the boat goes too fast.  If there is one thing I could change about fabulous me, that would be it.  Well, maybe I would ask to change a few more things, but you get the point.

Anyway, I held back today.  At my new school, my classroom is secluded and I am so out of touch with everyone, making it harder to get to know anyone (remember, I'm new to this town).  It was the annual teachers vs. eighth graders volleyball game.  {They don't let them win either...this is serious competition.}  I chose not to participate and regret it.  I know, it sounds like no big deal, and it's really not THAT big of a deal.  It's just one more thing I chose to sit and watch instead of get up and DO!

Part of this is the former shy kid that comes out every now and then, but mostly it is the fear of the unknown.  I'm new and wasn't sure how the whole game would play out.  Don't get me wrong, I'm no Gabby Reece, but it would have been so much fun, and I missed out.

So, lesson of the day, grab the bull by the horns and just do it!  Jump in with both feet!  Throw caution to the wind!  (Insert your favorite idiom here).

By the way, "Jumping In With Both Feet" is the name of a blog I follow.  I do not know the author at all.  She is married to an old high school friend who always jumps in with both feet. (This is the guy I went to Sadie Hawkins with in high school, and I stood on my head for that picture.  He was that funny guy that will do anything.)  A link to her blog: www.jumpinginwithbothfeet.com. She's a very talented writer. They've recently sold everything they own and moved from Austin to Hawaii.  Enjoy!

~ACZ

One more thing, I was also traumatized at 13 when I asked my mom if my nose was big, and she replied, "You'll grow into it."  This has nothing to do with the earlier traumatic event, but does have to do with the one more thing I would change.